tldr; i did dr. amen's 30 day happiness challenge, and this is what happened days 16-30.
Days 16-30:
Taming your Dragons and ANTs, Sleeping into Happiness, .
We all know the phrase “conquer your dragons” (or something similar) right? They’re referred to when talking about emotional issues that eat away at you, or as Dr. Amen says, are “breathing fire on our limbic (emotional) brain”. The hippocampus is part of your limbic or emotional brain. It’s responsible for memory, mood, learning, and spatial awareness. You have one on either side of your temporal lobes, and it’s been proven that you could produce up to 700 new cells every day in this part of your brain if it’s being taken care of properly. That just boils down to good nutrition, oxygen, blood flow and stimulation. The hippocampi will actually shrink if they’re not being nourished well enough. Something that was new to me was the term ANTs. Automatic Negative Thoughts. This is something I personally struggle with every single day, probably due to depression mostly, but I think being up to date on all the shit going on in the world, that can also make you pretty pessimistic and overly cautious. I saw a tiktok not too long ago that said something to the effect of, “when are you guys gonna realize that you also manifest your negative thoughts?!” and that hit me pretty hard. This is the logical next step: Eradicate the ANTs. This is to train yourself to believe that not every single negative thought you have is true, or even logical. Ask yourself: Is it absolutely true with 100% certainty? How do I feel when I believe this thought? How would I feel if I couldn’t think this thought? Make the thought opposite, then ask yourself if the opposite is true or even truer than the original thought. More on this later, lol. You already know that sleep is directly related to your wellbeing and mental health. This isn’t new news. It is really important nonetheless. The risk of developing depression is 5x higher in people with insomnia (me). People with insomnia are 20x more likely to develop anxiety disorders (me). 40% of adults who sleep less than 7-8 hours feel overwhelmed. When you sleep, your brain takes that time to rest and clear itself of the fluids that built up during the day (“the trash” Dr. Amen calls it).
Speaking of anxiety and negative stuff, you don’t have to believe everything you hear – even if it’s coming from your own head. It’s not the thoughts you have that make you suffer, it’s the thoughts you attach to that make you suffer. Dr. Amen suggests making up a name for your negative mind, separating it from “you”. Decades of research say that this ‘distanced self-talk’ leads to better emotional regulation and more self-control and wisdom. Put it to the test: When you feel bad about something or are thinking negatively, let yourself feel the feelings but then interrupt the pattern and focus on happy memories or thoughts instead. It might also help to question your thoughts like a toddler would (asking “why” over and over again).
Another thing to try is to play what Dr. Amen calls the Glad Game. No matter the circumstance, try and find something positive about it. He gave the example of the pandemic. Some positive things might include feeling closer to family because of more time spent together, eating less fast food, less traffic, having time to practice an instrument or sport, hiking more... etc. Look for what’s right instead of what’s wrong (within reason). When you express gratitude, it evokes stronger feelings of positivity in yourself, and to the person who receives it from you. Gratitude can enhance happiness & well-being, self-esteem, mood, energy, and resistance to stress.
According to Dr. Amen, the average person has 6 of the 13 Dragons. I took the quiz and I have 7 of them... still not sure how I feel about it, but I suppose I’m basically average? I personally struggle with the following ANTs on a regular basis: Less Than, Fortune Telling, Mind Reading, and If Only.
Tame the Dragons
*The ones I personally struggle with are highlighted!
Abandoned, Invisible, or Insignificant Dragons Feel alone, unseen, or unimportant/small. You need to find ways to feel significant, like your life matters. Common when: Your parents were dysfunctional, narcissistic, or sick, or when one of your parents/siblings was a high achiever or famous. Triggers: when you perceive that others ignore or belittle you, when others are recognized and you are not, when you get laid off but your colleagues don’t.
Inferior or Flawed Dragons Feel inferior/less than to others. Common when: you felt inadequate, thought you couldn’t live up to expectations from parents, you were bullied/criticized by peers/family/authority, you frequently compared yourself to others negatively. Triggers: comparing, competing, looking in mirror. Reactions: Depression, jealousy, perfectionist/overly sensitive, impostor syndrome, having a body dysmorphic disorder. *driving epidemic of teenage suicide in girls
Anxious Dragons Feel fearful and overwhelmed, feel world is dangerous. Common when: alcoholic or drug-addicted parent, angry or unpredictable parent, lived through coronavirus. Triggers: reminders of past situations that caused anxiety, frightening events (pandemic, natural disaster), speaking in public, loud noises, being overscheduled. Reactions: Panic attacks, nervousness, phobias, predicting the worst, insomnia/headaches/upset stomach/cold or sweaty hands/racing heart/chest pain. *60% of world is dealing w it (pandemic)
Wounded Dragons Bruised by past trauma. Common when: you experienced emotional/sexual abuse, foster care, were in flood/fire/assault, bullied or teased, lived through coronavirus. Triggers: Reminders of past trauma (sights/smells/sounds), anniversaries of the accident/death/divorce/breakup. Reactions: Flashbacks, nightmares, numbness, avoiding reminders, waiting for bad things to happen, easy panic, inability to recall important aspect of trauma.
Should and Shaming Dragons Racked with guilt. *change SHOULD to I WANT TO do the thing, or It Fits My Goal to do the thing
Special, Spoiled, or Entitled Dragons Feel more special than others
Responsible Dragons Need to take care of others. Common when: you felt powerless to help someone, felt significant to help others, eldest child, neglectful parents. Triggers: Perceive others in need. Reactions: Doing too much for others, causing others to become dependent on you, breeding entitlement and resentment in those you cater to, unbalanced relationships, long-term stress.
Angry Dragons Harbor hurts and rage, from early life
Judgmental Dragons Hold harsh/critical opinions of others due to past injustices, get mad when things don’t go your way
Death Dragons Fear the future and lack of a meaningful life. Try to write down the good things about dying (I don’t have to get a root canal anymore, I’ll never have to pay bills again, no more dealing with traffic etc.) lol
Grief and Loss Dragons Feel loss and fear of loss. Common when: you lose someone important (death, divorce, dementia, empty nest syndrome), lose something important (health, job, pet), lose attachment to ideas of what could have been. Triggers: Reminders of the loss, something bringing up memories, routines that take you there. Reactions: Shock, sadness, denial, despair, anger, guilt, loneliness, helplessness, yearning, anxiety, sleeplessness, memory loss, physical sensations (trouble breathing).
Hopeless or Helpless Dragons Have pervasive sense of despair and discouragement
Ancestral Dragons (the most interesting to me!) Affected by issues from past generations (anxieties, fears, prejudices, preconceived notions, etc.). Common when: you’re a child/grandchild of trauma survivors (holocaust, 9/11, genocide, massacres, slavery, abandonment, war), your loved one died by suicide, you lived in war zone, you experienced the early death of someone, a parent had PTSD. Triggers: Being age of parent/grandparent when they had their trauma, cultural expectations, thinking what you should do to make your fam proud or accepting of you. Reactions: Reluctant compliance, rebellion, guilt, feeling like a disappointment, anxiety for little to no reason, unexplainable fears.
ANT Species
All or Nothing. Thinking that things are either all good or all bad: “Nothing ever works out for me.” “You always do this.” “You never listen to me”
Less Than. Where you compare and see yourself less than others (social media is a bad influence in this way). “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not rich/tall/strong/young enough”
Just the Bad. Seeing only the bad in a situation. “The world is more dangerous than ever.”
Guilt Beating. Should, must, ought, or have to. “I should visit my parents more often.”
Labeling. Attaching a negative label to yourself or someone else. “He’s a jerk.”
Fortune Telling. Predicting the worst possible outcome for a situation with little or no evidence for it. “I’m doomed to be unemployed for years.”
Mind Reading. Believing you know what other people are thinking even though they haven’t told you. “My boss doesn’t like me.”
If Only and I’ll Be Happy When. Where you argue with the past and long for the future. “If only my parents had been rich.” "I'll finally be happy when I lose this weight."
Blaming. Blaming someone or something else for your problems. “It’s your fault that I’m in this situation.”. (When you do this, it makes you a victim who can’t change a situation.)
Sleep your way to happiness!
DO’s:
Cool, dark, quiet room
Turn off gadgets
Meditate/try hypnosis
Try sleep supplements (magnesium, melatonin)
Try listening to sleep tracks
DON’T’s:
Have caffeine after noon
Warm room
Light/noise (gadgets)
Nicotine
Alcohol (ruins REM sleep)
I truly cannot express how interesting this kind of stuff is to me, and the fact that I get to learn about this stuff and actually apply it to myself (AND THAT IT'S FREE?) is the best thing... This very challenge, as I'm writing this actually, has inspired me to make a Self Help section of my blogs where I post about this and the Game of Desire stuff because this shit will change your life. I'm a whole ass nerd about this now so please let me know your results (if you're comfy sharing!) so we can discuss! One of my friends did some of these quizzes too and we are basically twins. C R A Z I N E S S.
Anyway, love you the most... pls wake up and choose optimism 🥰
xx,
Know Your Dragons quiz http://knowyourdragons.com/
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